After a thoroughly miserable day yesterday (finally coming to the conclusion that what I felt was an attack by a negative spirit whose been preying on a co-worker of mine) (…see “symptoms” below)-I was checking email and stuff when the drum in my living room went ‘thump’.
-My friend, Jim, in Canada, can deal with drums going ‘thump’ any time, day or night. He and Cathi have one hanging on their living room wall in the eastern corner of the room. Mine was sitting on the television holder (“Media Center”) which, since I got a flat panel television, has a lot more room than it used to on the television ‘perch’.
-I did not have my wits scared out of me, I just kind of felt warm and grinned, like I knew that whatever or whoever was thumping ‘hello’ was friendly, meant nobody any harm, and maybe had a message for me from ‘beyond’(?).
-When I sort of asked “Who’s there?” and tried to see in the semi darkened corner of the room, All I could see was a point of light up near the ceiling, then maybe a mildly blurred circle of something radiating out from the point.
-I didn’t actually hear anything, but I ‘felt’ the message, “Members of your family that you haven’t seen in a while will need you soon. I want you to meditate with me”
-Woa.
-So I closed down my computer and went and tried to meditate (I am not the world’s best meditator). -It felt like I had help, got deeper than usual, & when I sort of received a couple visualizations, felt thrills that did not scare me, although I remembered reading somewhere that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing to feel anything unusual while meditating. I felt connected to the light and felt safe,unthreatened-
-I couldn’t actually get any information, no easily understood message. When I asked questions like, “What kind of help are these family members going to need? If it’s financial, are you going to hand me a winning lottery ticket?” I felt a minor qualm, like maybe it was blasphemy to ask for a winning lottery ticket, but I did not feel chastized, so I went on, “If it’s ridiculous for me to ask for something like a winning ticket, will you tell me? So I don’t waste any time and energy believing it just might be possible?” -I didn’t get any answer to that, not even a feeling like, ‘We won’t honor such a ridiculous question with an answer.’
-All I felt was better and more open to positive energy or positive input or something like that, than I have in quite a while. When my arthritic aches and pains restated themselves I got the assurance that I should go to bed and hang on to the feeling for as long as I could. (and of course, as soon as I closed the door and got comfortable, Rachel’s cat started scratching on the door and meowing, no end. I finally managed to ignore the cat completely and went to sleep.)
- I went into a series of dreams, connected with places I know I dreamed about years ago. -Walked into a bank in dreamland that used to be a radio studio in a student union that exists only in dreamland, it’s in a building that would be in the middle of a soccer field here in this world. (similar landmarks, different buildings, sometimes I realize I’m dreaming when I’m moving down a road I recognize, but go past houses or other buildings that are not the same as they are in the ‘real world’.)
-I dreamed I was driving to Boston, stopped off in Springfield, went into a store that only exists in dreamland, where I know I’ve stopped several times before, looked around for other stores that belong to a kind of co-operative group of artists and musicians, writers etc, who know me, maybe from a previous life, maybe from another aspect of this one. One person told me, “For a while there, I didn’t think you’d make it, you know you’re on the agenda for tonight-” and showed me a schedule of writers and poets who were supposed to read from their current projects that night. I was speachless- stunned, felt like saying, “How the [heck] did you know I’d be here, I didn’t even know I’d be here.” And I looked around for the sandwich counter (where they used to make deli sandwhiches for customers in this -part book store, part coffee shop-) and I was quite depressed to think that the sandwich shop had closed down because of not enough interest.
-Then I was talking to this guy whose Volkswagen beetle (the old style) whose body was in really good condition, (blue body with a white top, It might have been a convertible, I’m struggling to remember that part.) had died on the side of the road. I thought of a friend who would love to get his hands on one of those and I bought it from the guy in the dream, he went away and came back with the paperwork, title and all that while I was magcally pulling a car dolly out of the back of my jeep. (real life car dollies are wider than a jeep and in no way would fit back there.)
-Anyway, I woke up, with a minor headache, probably from breathing the dust in the bedroom, wandered around, made coffee, had breakfast, talked to the cat, told him that Rachel still loves him, even if she is away at college- (My Canadian friends would correct me and say she’s away at University) Realized I didn’t take my allergy pills last night. (also realized I didn’t take the other creepy stuff I’m supposed to take three times a day for three months to get rid of a fungus that hit me out of nowhere, I promise I will not joke about being used by the shadow government to test their creepy mind control or death rays or anything…)
-And then Rachel called and said she’d be visiting next weekend, bringing a load of laundry (it’s cheaper for her to carry monster bags of laundry home every now and then than to cart them to the on campus laundry center. Believe me, Universities do not exist to make life easy or cheap for their students.)
-”Oh,” I said, “I had a dream that an angel told me that some relatives I haven’t seen in a while will need my help pretty soon, was that you?”
-I could hear her swallow,”No- but I got email from cousin Rick and they’re having pretty scary times. Uncle Paul goes through hell every couple months thinking he might be among the next batch of people to get laid off.”
-I hope the universe doesn’t expect me to support Rachel’s uncle Paul and his family. My ex-wife’s family all looked down their noses at me, and when she went nuts and ran away with the wacky cult that has since been indicted under California law for defrauding members and donors out of ‘donations’, they blamed me. Paul especially had nothing good to say (or think?) about me from the day he met me. I just wasn’t on his kind of fast track to riches and ‘influence’ (okay, the guy’s a corporate supervisor /”hatchet man” who really enjoys throwing his weight around, he derserves to go through hell, his family doesn’t) but the ‘angels’ couldn’t be so mean that they’d expect me to actually live with the jerk, could they? Give me a winning lottery ticket, I’ll buy him a house in the section of town surrounded by people he delighted in firing because they couldn’t produce fast enough to beat his stop watch. grrrrr-
-((( Oh yeah, * symptoms: I spent way too much of yesterday feeling like something wanted me to get drunk. I don’t drink. Something wanted me to get drunk or high and was trying to manipulate me with images of me receiving nearly miraculous insights from the chemicals it wanted me to take. No way. So what do I do? ask my co-worker in front of the boss if he’s back sliding? Tell them boh that I have this feeling that he’s in trouble because his demons are attacking me, trying to get me to embrace drugs and alcohol? Jeeze, it would make more sense to just go and put on a straight jacket and tell them about the unicorns and spirits that are playing drums in my living room when nobody else is around.)))-
—One more thing, though, I got the feeling that the ‘angel’ or whatever, who came to see me, and probably thumped the drum, was afraid that I was feeling suicidal, like the attack from the negative spirit registered more as me feeling like getting high or jumping off a bridge or something than as an attack by a mean spirit that meant me harm. (shrug- one more thing I need to find out about next time I get an open line to: “What exactly is going on here?” with God or Somebody who would actually know.)
-dj0